Me: ‘Omkar! How lovely to see you!’
NRI: ‘Howdy folks!’
Shanker& Me: Err..how…dee…’
NRI: ‘Y, know, the Indian roads are so terrible! I had a tough time landing…’
Me: ‘Landing?…Anyway, hope you didn’t have any problems locating our house?’
NRI: ‘Owh No! No Probs! I have an inbuilt GPS in my system y’know!Where is this Sarita? Why hasn’t she arrived yet? Typical of these Indians y’know, following the Indian Stretchable Time y’know.’
Shanker: What will you drink? Scotch or Whisky?
NRI: Owh No! Just because I’m an NRI doesn’t mean I drink.’ (breaks into a song) Mujhe duniya waalon, sharaabi na samjho, main peeta nahin hoon…’
Shanker: Okay, okay we know you can sing with an accent too but you must have something to drink.
NRI: Okhay! Do you have any minerrrrral waterrrrrr?
Shanker: No, but I have some minerals. And I have some water. Will that do?
NRI: Okhay! Okhay!
Sarita and Debashish arrive.
Sarita: ‘Hey Omkar! How lovely to see you!’
NRI: ‘Howdy folks!’
Sarita and Debashish: Err..how…dee…’
NRI: ‘Okhay, since you’ve come let’s get to eat. What’s there for lunch?’
Me: ‘I’ve made Chicken Biryani and Butterfly prawns and tomato ka khatta and dahi ka raita….’
NRI: ‘But I’m an NRI! I don’t eat all this khotta photta and raita phaita!’
Sarita: ‘What will you have then? Pokhaalo Bhaatho?’
NRI: ‘WHAAAT? How typically Indian! Don’t you guys have some Fish and Chips?’
Me: Well, I have some fish in my pond. And I have some Lays Chips. Will that do?’
NRI: Okhay! Okhay!
Sarita: (to debashish)Chee chee…He used to be such a nice simple Oriya boy!
Debashish: ‘It’s amazing how people change when they go abroad’.
NRI: ‘Hey, that’s bad manners y’know….for a couple to whisper in public, y’know! And what’s that muzik? So typically Indian! Don’t you have some jazz or rock or somethin?’
Debashish: I don’t have any rocks but I found some pebbles outside. Will that do?’
NRI: Okhay! Okhay! Btw...I’m having such a headache. Still suffering from jet lag, y’know’.
Me: ‘Here, have some dessert. I’ve made some nice Aam Ras. You’ll feel good. And you know, the mangoes are from our garden only.’
NRI: Mangoes from your own garden? That’s...y’know, so typically Indian, y’know! Don’t you have somethin’ like Cheesecake?’
Me: Well, I have some Cheese. And I have some Cake. Will that do?
NRI: Okhay! Okhay!
Shanker: ‘Omkar…Nargis has made some pizza for your kids. Should I ask her to pack it?’
NRI: ‘Pack it? You mean like PACK IT?’ That’s so typically Indian y’know’.
Shanker:….’okkay’…..
Debashish: Omkar…err…Sarita has brought some chocolates for your kids. Shall I…err..ask her to…?’
NRI: ‘NO, YOU SHALL NOT! My kids have outgrown candies!’
Debashish: …..okkay……
Me: ‘Hey Omkar, will you err…take my…err…book ‘The Virgin Adulteress?’
NRI: The WHAAAT? Jesus! What is wrong with you people? I have kids y’know. I am a family man y’know. I don’t read such trash y’know!’
Me: ….okkay….
Debashish: Omkar, can we drop you at the station?’
NRI: Drop? Station? Me? Are you guys crazy or what? I’m going to fly.
Shanker: ‘But you don’t have any wings.’
NRI: ‘Geez! I have a private chopper y'know.
Sarita: But Berhampur doesn’t have any runway you know.
NRI: ‘Runway? What runway? I create my own runways. I’m going to do a crash landing y’know. Okhay, I gotta run. I have a tight skejule, y’know!’
Debashish&Shanker&Sarita&Nargis: …..’okkay’…..
Sarita and Me: Hey Omkar….before you go, how about a hug?’
NRI: Ugh! What are you guys? You don’t even feel like family to me y’know.’
Sarita&Nargis: ‘Still....for old time’s sake?’
NRI: For Auld Lang Syne? Geez! How typically………..’
Shanker&Debashish&Sarita&Nargis: ……. Indian! We Know!We Know! We Know!~’
NRI: Yea…yea…whateverrrrrr…..where’s my cabin luggage bag?’
P.S. OKHAY! I’m wondering if I really need to put in a disclaimer that I was only kidding :-} But to be on the safe side I think I will! Don’t want to spoil the image of the NRI. Omkar, with his delicious accent is just the same as he was. And no prizes for guessing what a wonderful time all of us had! Next time we meet it has to be a larger gathering....!
This is the only snap I have. What my Peon took have become blurred. So NRI SirJi, I have to depend on you to post them...:-}
5 comments:
Photo caption:
The honourable NRO adjusts his specs for a good look at Sarita. Debashis glares. Shanker looks on. Nargis clicks. Sarita says cheers!!!
Arun U truly are unbeatable !!!! I thank Shanker Bhai and our own dear Nargis for taking so much of trouble in not only giving us the choicest dishes ,but also networking a la Vimal to see that we could really meet ---it was wonderful!!! Thanks Shanker bhai for being so warm and concerned--Nargis for the regal fare, all complete with Scotch and Liquer!!!--and Omkar for taking the trouble of sparing ur valuable time 4 old timez sake!!!!
Nargis- LOL! Waiting to see Hilu's response to your humorous post. We missed a chance for a similar get together at your place.
Nargis---that was a superb write-up of your Yankee visitor---you had me rolling in laughter!
Wonder when the Yank is visiting Hyd.
Texian ko Yank na kaho, if u know what I mean ;-)
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