Tryst With Life

Hi there,
I joined this blog last October, but haven't been an active blogger since I hardly know any of the other bloggers except Vimal & now to a certain extent Arun. I really envy the camaraderie all you guys share. But now I feel I need to share this with all of you.
In the past few months my life has undergone a major upheaval & it would have been impossible to really go through the trying times if it hadn't been for the support & help of family,friends & well wishers. And through it all life taught me a few lesson along the way.
Late last year my Dad was diagnosed with oral cancer. When I first heard about it, I felt my world crashing. Having heard of the sad demise of the parents of two of my closest friends in the last year, I was terrified that I was about to loose one of mine. That thought was pushed to the back of my mind when practical considerations took over, as to how, where & for how long & with what results dad would undergo treatment.
In the beginning, he underwent chemotherapy in our hometown, Cuttack. But later when the doctor advised surgery, the family decided on expert advice from doctors, family & friends that the best place would be Tata Memorial Hospital(TMH), Mumbai. This decision though well intentioned, was a cause of huge consternation for me. I thought to myself, 'Dear God so far they had a huge support system at home comprising of uncles, grandparents, cousins, my in-laws & a huge network of friends & other relatives. But Mumbai!! Anjaan shehar, anjaan log. Where will they live, how will they find their way around, how will they manage.....& a thousand such other debilitating thoughts. I need to mention here that I have a younger brother, the only sibling I have. He is the kid of the family, the youngest among all cousins. Though he got married last year, everybody still thinks of him as the baby in the family. I had serious reservations about how he would be able to handle things all on his own in a new city without any help.
But my fears were totally unfounded.We found that two of our very distant relatives, whom we never knew existed, were doctors in TMH.They were very accomodating & supportive. My bhabhi's cousin is stationed in Pune. He was a huge support throughout.
Living so far away from home, I felt helpless & useless that I couldn't be of any help to my parents at their time of need. Mom forbade me from coming home, saying they would manage & if they need me she'd call. On my part I thought I would call Vimal & ask if he could help them in any way. Very apprehensively, when I mailed him & later spoke to him, imagine my joy when he informed that his wife Vani was a surgeon in TMH!!! He assured me of all help & when my brother started giving me updates after reaching Mumbai, I finally felt I had been able to help in some small way.
The very next day after I reached Mumbai for dad's surgery, Vimal & Arun were gracious enough to come & meet me. Throughout, the period that I was there before, during & after dad's surgery Vimal & Vani were kind enough to help us out whenever & in whatever way they could. Now when I think of it I feel sorry & ashamed of the times when I used to just barge in to Vani's office at all odd hours or intercept her in her OPD or in the way & she never took offense.
I'll be eternally grateful to them not just for all their help & support but also letting me get rid of the guilt that I felt at not being of any use to my parents.
We think that we know our parents & siblings very well, but it is precisely such events in life which unfold a facet of their personality that you thought never existed. My mom is a very nervous, worrying kind of person. I still remember my nanijaan saying, 'Teri maa mein zaraa bhi himmat nahi hai'. But throughout our ordeal I never saw her cry, not even tell tale signs of her crying in solitude. The only time we saw her cry was when dad was being wheeled in for surgery. Even when both of us broke down after we saw dad for the first time after surgery, she was calm. Most of the time she was angry with dad that he didn't tell about his problem earlier. Maybe she channelled all her sadness into anger. Maybe that was her way of coping.Or, as one of my cousins told me at that time, she was just being strong for all of us. My brother, Shadab, was a revelation. When we were waiting outside the OT, I told him I do not want to loose dad, he simply said with quite determination in his voice that we won't. He just rose to the ocassion & took charge. Just watching him go about the works with all the meticulousness & making the best of the limited resources available, made me realise that I need not worry at all.As long as he is there to take care of our parents, they will have the best that he can offer. Life had finally made a man of my kid bro & I'm just so proud of him.
Lastly, it was providence that I got to know Vimal over the net & I'm amazed that someone who never knew me, to whom I was a total stranger, went so out of his way to help my family.I can never thank him & Vani enough. When I told this to Vimal he said,'Don't thank me ,thank God.' And I said,'God works through people.' And in this case Vimal & Vani were our God sent.We are all truly blessed to have Vimal as our friend.
Today, thanks to the prayers & good wishes of family & friends, Dad is well on his way to recovery, though he'll never be the same again. He is still continuing with radiotherapy in Cuttack.There's always a chance of relapse. But I can rest assured that God forbid, if in the future we face a similar kind of situation, I'll face it with a lot less trepidation, knowing as I know now that I'll have the full support of family & friends like Vimal & Vani. And most important that there's someone out there, up, above who is watching out for us. Not that I ever doubted it, but now that belief has been strengthened. If there are trials in life, He'll equip us with the means to tide over them.
P.S. Vimal: Thanks for taking us to that joint "Veg Always". It became a favourite with both me & Shadab. We even took our parents there once before dad's surgery.Try their noodles....ummmm yummy!!!!And the kiwi passion fruit juice.
Arun: Sorry, I couldn't speak to you before I left. Even though I tried a few times, I couldn't get the call through.