Non-Vegetarians, Vegetarians and Hesitarians!!

A few days back NRK gave me a call. When he said he would be in Bhubaneswar on Tuesday, I suggested we have a Bloggers meet. When I rang up Ms.SID Panda (Sarita In Disguise) she said she would be busy (I’m seriously beginning to wonder about her Puri connections ;-} I then rang up Rajalaxmi but she was in Taratarini. So when I contacted NRK on Tuesday to finalise the dinner programme (since anyways Shanker had invited one of his friends over), NRK said it might not be possible because he had a meeting in Paradip at five. So we agreed to call if off because according to Aposcar’s Rule No. 420. Line 78:22-23, at least three people were required to make up the quorum for a Bloggers meet!!

Shanker’s friend turned out to be a former Railway Doctor who now was the physician of the Deccan Chargers. ‘Just make a simple Chicken Biryani’ Shanker said. Obviously hubby dear wasn’t aware that words like just and simple and biryani don’t go together. But since the health of the charged players from the South depended on the mood of the DCP (Deccan Charger ka Physician) and since the way to my husband’s heart was paved through my DCB (Delicious Chicken Biryani), I decided to honour them both.

Around five’ish’, when I was in the kitchen making the korma, I got two calls. The first was from Nafees Apa asking me to send a Kathal from our garden as she wanted to make curry. The second was from NRK who thought that now he could probably make it since his meeting in Paradip was over. This was my first taste of NRK's hesitarian'ism'.

‘Fine’ I said. ‘Let me try Rajalaxmi again. And NRK, you are a non-vegetarian, right?’
‘Fortunately, I’m not!’ he said.

FORTUNATELY? ....Any other day, this word would have sounded divine. Like say if I’d invited a guest and there was nothing but vegetables at home. But today when I was in the kitchen halfway through a menu of nothing but Chicken Biryani, this was defffffinitely not fortunate.

‘But don’t worry’ he reassured me. 'I’m okay with anything simple.’ I normally listen to all my Bloggers friends so I stopped worrying, rang up my sister and requested her to send over a little bit of the Kathal curry. I could serve this to NRK with the other veggie accompaniments of the Biryani like Dalcha, Raita, Mirchi ka saalan, Khajoor ka Khatmith etc. Then I called Rajalaxmi. After the usual hi helloing and blah blahing I somehow convinced her to join us too. She agreed. ‘And you are…a Non-vegetarian right?’ I asked.

‘Yes……….!’ *phew* THANK GOD! ‘…………but, today I am a vegetarian’.
'But >why?’
‘It’s Navaratri no, that’s why. In fact I don't eat onions and garlic also’.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? OMG, garlic is phir bhi okay but I’ve never cooked anything in my life without onions.
‘But don’t worry. I might not stay for dinner’.
‘Of course you will!’
‘My mom will be worried.’
‘But you HAVE to!’
‘Okay, then, theek hai’.

There you go….....hehehehe. Another Hesitarian! I then forgot about the Biryani Phiryani. The DCP’s mood and my husband’s heart also took a back seat. The interest of my school Bloggers was top priority now. The chicken korma now became the side dish. It didn’t get to reach that exotic minty, spicy, oniony and aromatic layered stage at all :-{ Next I told my peon to go get a few carrots pharrots and cheese pheese so that I could whip up something without the onions phonions.

Then they arrived. Rajalaxmi came with a tetra pack of Real OJ. 'Juice is better than sweets, less calories’ was her explanation. NRK came with a packet of Real Rassogollas. ‘I was passing through Pahalo and I picked them up’ was his explanation. And the DCP came wearing Rs/2000 worth Deccan Chargers ka Tee shirt. And Rs/4000 ka Puma shoes! ‘All the support staff has to wear these for formal occasions’ was his explanation. He also said that for breakfast they had to wear a different set of clothes and shoes. And for the stadium another set. Of course the players were each given a kit of Rs/500000. (While writing I wanted to know if it was 5 with 4 zeroes but hubby confirmed it was 5 with 5 zeroes) WOW! Now this is what I call REAL!!

Then dinner was served. I can’t forget Shanker’s expression as he kept opening dish after dish searching for the Biryani,wondering about the drastic change in the menu. The DCP was cool since he hadn’t the faintest idea what he had missed. But even he turned out to be another Hesitarian- the purest of the lot!

‘Aur thoda lijiye na’
‘Naheen, naheen’
‘’Thoda sa le lijiye na’
‘Naheen, naheen’
‘Bas ek chamach’
‘Naheen nahi….achha theek hai!’

However Ripley it sounds, this wavering act was performed for nearly every dish. I was instantly reminded of my youngest BIL. Nilofer, my sister says that nearly every Hyderabadi is a Pure Hesitarian. You have to ask them at least three times (sometimes six)before they finally agree.

As for the dinner, goodwill being the greatest flavour, company being the greatest seasoning and hunger being the greatest sauce, I think it turned out quite okay :-}Then we spoke about how Rajalaxmi was the silent one but when everyone thought her to be a snob how she changed and became the talkative one; of how I also was the reserved kind and when everyone thought me to be a proudy (with a ‘y’ not ‘ie’) I also tried to change. And of how NRK was, is and will always be the shy and diffident one.

Finally when they got up to leave I just could not contain myself. It was a question that had been bothering me for quite some time and I decided to finally ask it.

‘NRK’, I said. ‘I can guess that En stands for Nabhi. But what does Aarkay stand for?’
‘Rama Krishna.’

And just when I was wondering who on earth had fashioned this silly acronym to create a distortion of an otherwise holy name of such ‘epic’ proportions, NRK, presumably reading my mind clarified.
'Can you guess who gave me this name? It was Stanley. He told me that Nabhi Rama Krishna was too long a name. So he condensed it to NRK!’

Ah! I should have known! So in continuation of the awards, ‘The most ingenious idea of name changing ‘goes to …………..who else but the enlightened genius designer of the Aposcar awards- STANLEY DAVID! Folks, please give him a STANLING ovation!

Anyway, the moment everyone left, my husband charged at me- ‘What happened? I thought you were making Chicken Biryani’.
‘Yea, I thought so too. But today is Navaratri’.
‘So? Since when do you observe Navaratri?
‘Since today. And moreover, its okay for kids to eat meat and all but after a certain age it is better to avoid eating rich stuff like Biryani.’
‘But…’

‘
Of Ifs and Buts there is no dearth
But if all the people here on earth
Became veggies and not necessarily at birth
Animal Kingdom would be full of mirth!

P.S. Of course the last verse is a figment of my fertile imagination. But I wish I’d recited it and captured Shanker’s expression. That would indeed have been one fine Kodak moment!!