The last picture of my Dad
It is 'Father's Day' , and again I find myself cursing that dreadful disease that took my Dad away from me. I lost my father 32 years ago and oddly enough the pain and grief have not diminished with the passage of time. His death was so sudden that my brother and I had to give up our dreams, overnight turn into adults, take whatever jobs came our way so we could take care of our mother. We did not have the time to properly grieve our loss, because life had to go on. Now that I am much older and am a parent myself I am constantly thinking 'I wish Dad was here........'! On 'Father's Day', I find myself acting like my boys did when they were little. As you all know, schools have a day set aside when the kids could have their grandparents visit them in school and have lunch with them etc. My boys were the only ones in their class who did not have any grandparents visiting. I could see the disappointment in their eyes and had to come up with clever ways of consoling them. I feel the same kind of disappointment when Father's Day comes, my Dad is not around, and no one is coming up with clever ways to console me. I bet you are thinking, "GROW UP Seetha, don't be such a baby". Believe me, I admonish myself for feeling the way I do. I tell myself that my Dad is in a better place now and I should not be so selfish. But then, I also ask myself, 'Am I really not allowed to feel the way I feel just because I have lived over a half century and I should be acting 'MATURE' ? I never seem to find the right answer to my questions and the tug of war continues. Maybe some day the right answers will come and I will finally be able to let go of the grief. Until that day comes, I will keep trying to hold on to the many cherished memories I have of my Dad when he was with us and remember him as the vibrant, awesome, hero that he was!
Lastly, I hope that everyone out there who are lucky enough to have their fathers around, will take the time to appreciate and thank their fathers for all they have done, not just on Father's Day but every day they are with you!! Happy Father's Day to all!!
9 comments:
thanks for sharing your heartfelt thoughts. i too believe that time does not heal all wounds. one has to move on in life but there will always be a lump in the throat, a tightness in the chest that never goes away and infact should not go away.
What a heartfelt write up Seetha...!! There is absolutely nothing in the world that can deaden the pain of losing a near and dear one. We lost daddy when he was nearing eighty and even though technically he had lived his life to the full and we'd had more than our share of his company and guidance, YET I feel it was still not enough. So I can understand how you feel...!!
Moving...
Seetha, I lost my dad in Feb 1993 and probably not a day goes by without my thinking about him. But then thatz what life is all about... Good times, difficult times... Right? Memories is what we hold on to and that probably gives us the strength to move on...
Your write up made me think about my dad some more.
What a lovely article and a great way to pay tribute to a great man,Seetha! I can only imagine how hard it must be...I still miss my sister everyday even though she has been gone for 16 years...they say time is a healer, but is it really? Hold on to the sweet memories of your father and remember that he watching over you day in and day out....
Amazing Stuff Seetha!
A tear jerker coupled with a lachrymose depreciation of the void it creates in one's life. Well phrased !
Cheer up !
Thanks Arun, Vimal, Nargis, Nivedita, Omkar, Fai and Naresh for your encouraging words!...made my Father's Day a little easier to get through.
Hi Seetha...lovely write up. Age never comes in between parent and child. We are always kids for our parents no matter however old we are. Kids will always remain kids for us. Belated happy father's day.
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