Monday, 20 October 2008

Top Ten Reasons for the Pavlovian Anxiety when a Train Approaches the Platform

Even if you have never watched "David Letterman"'s Top Ten on TV. Stanley Bhai, u're right. Arun's the inspiration. Here goes -

10. One is never sure if its your train arriving.

9. One is never sure of the arrival platform, until the third bell.

8. Once it gets close to the platform, everyone moves fast, direction be damned.

7. The number of people in the platform is far more than those travelling.

6. No one is faster than the coolie, unless its yours who invariably is lost behind.

5. You are the slowest (like in the childhood nightmares of a ghost gaining ground on ya). Plus an elder is holding on to you, till the train comes to a complete stop.

4. You don't have a reservation and don't exactly know which car (bogie) to go for (later years, guy thing - can't exactly locate the car where u saw a glimpse of that pretty thing in pink, and u end up in another bogie with farm hands carrying "akhaa bostaas").

3. Even if you do, the TT at front says "peechhe hai" and vice versa. And sometimes the incredulous "chart mere haath mein aaya nahin" !!! (And u wonder, when all else fails, he tells me that there actually is a method to this madness).

2. Its never easy to enter a car, cos the entrances (even empty cars) are deadlocked with people (even if 2) going in/coming out.

And the No. 1 reason is (drum roll please ...)

1. On the outside chance you have a reservation, asking the people who are already entrenched in your seat to move "a little". And then their "samaan".

7 comments:

Tasneem said...

Mere railways ko itna bhi badnaam mat karo Bhai.

Nargis said...

Why is it that ghoom pheerke somoste railway platform re aasu jaau chonti?
And not only that, making fun of one of the largest organisations in the world.
And not only, only that but also making us enjoy so much that some of us here are actually guffawing with laughter, totally forgetting that we belong to the railway fraternity and it is our family that is targetted....Right Tas ;-}

Hey Hilu...So what if you cannot pen poems? Your pawky sense of humour more than makes up for it:-}

Naresh said...

Arre Babua hamra Laloo bhai agar tohar likhawat dekhengeee..toh 20,000 crore ka inphrastructure bodnam horiya ,Bihar ma se USA maphia bhej denge chuna laga ke !

Ye doosri baat hai tumra likhawat bilkul sachi hai beeda laga ke !

Tasneem didi hamra maph kari diyo !

Faiyaz said...

Thanks for the post, Hilu!

Bade Dino key Baad,
Hum Bewatanoon ko Yaad,
Watan Ki Mitti Aaai Hain,
TT Aai hain watan sey TT Aai hain!

Omkar said...

Tas & Nargis Didi(s),

This relates to late 60s and early 70s, when trains were so late sometimes, that they were misconstrued to be early!

Phir Bhi, maafi chahtaa hoon, Bharatiya Railway Zindabad ;-)

Naresh,
Same goes for Lalua.

Faiyaz,
My pleasure.

Faiyaz said...

The Train had arrived Berhampur Station everyone had literally gheraoed the TT.
Only one Berth - Everyone trying their Luck!

As usual, The TTE finally allotted the berth to someone who had bribed him considerably.
Later I told the TTE was that God had only gifted WOMEN and TTE the Power to give Birth!

He stood speechless never realized that he belonged to the privileged class although he had served the Indian Railways for over 23 Years.
He offered me his own' Saab aap Berthaman merey Berth sey Kaam Chalaiye' and disappeared!

Faiyaz said...

Behind every succesful Man is a Woman!
Behind every BERTH Man are both Men and Women!
Mere Peche hi aana Soniye,
Bhej Doonga tujhe MAIL Me!
Pyar key is khel mein...