Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Earth Day 2050 -World without Men ( inspired by a piece on Earth Day 2009 by Nargis

Year 2050
Planet Earth has rid it itself of one of its biggest polluters: Man.
Thanks to pathbreaking research done by a lady Doctor from Sangli, the world has finally rid itself of men, and women now need men "as much as a fish needs a bycycle"(old Germaine Greer quote). Yes, once in a while, a few mutant men would be born in the Labs --and these were assigned beasts of bruden jobs in shopping malls and airlines to lift luggages and lug trolley carts.

Workplaces now function from 0600 -12 noon --then everyone takes a siesta, watch soaps (saas -bahu ones only) and go shopping during afternoons till early hours in the morning, followed by Gym /Gossip and spa sessions.

Manmohana Kaur, PM of India, wanted women to work lesser, exercise more and spend yet some more to raise prosperity levels. And she bemoaned the fact that women are now obese and have let themsleves go --since there are no men around like in the days of her grandpa, Dr M Singh, when the man would answer frankly (and recklessly) with a big blunt Yes, whenever the lady asked : Do I LOOK FAT IN THIS SAREE?

And what about the men? Were they wiped out like dinosaurs? Did they pay a heavy price and ignore warning signs of hostility , as they sat immersed watching IPL matches, and discussing moot points of cricket such as "Fine leg" boundary and "ball through the slips" with , you guessed it, MAN-dira Bedi.
Legend has it that all the menfolk have now hid themselves in a site called APOSCAFROVIMA, where the presiding deity, Vimal Parmar, had foreseen the shape of things to come, based on researched articles by Arun Bhatt, Bachu, the former East Eurpeoan secret agent, Petrovsky Nabhinskya and others --and behind a labyrinth of passwords and emailids there lie hid a few intrepid men, who dared to survive in one of the last places the AMS (Anti-Men Squad) would ever imagine that they would be hiding in.

Is it the end of Man and mankind? Watch this space .........................................

6 comments:

Nargis said...

'Watch this space..........'

Okay Stanley Saar. I am watching.
Signed : The Earth!

Serves them right!When 'they' were going like 'How much wickets can Warne take' 'we' were going like 'how much cricket can a woman take?
Signed: Nargis

Venu N said...

That's a real witty one, Sir Stanley---err, Don Stanley.

I guess that out of modesty you did not mention that your outfit has run out of business with 'supari' eliminations,as there are hardly any men left, and has to contend with shifting focus to 'soft' skills, esp with so many soft species around.
I think you also need to mention that in the year 2050, the mystery about the crow that shat on Gorbachev's head was cracked by joint efforts of the East European Agency and SD Associates!

Naresh said...

Stan

This reminds me of a Telugu film 'Jambalakadi pamba ', where the menfolk in a particular township are rendered feminine by virtue of a potion mixed in the PWD water reservoir.
So you have the femme fatales' and the feminine fatales'.

Hence the 'possibility factor' delineated by you cannot be ruled out.

Enarkay said...

Sir Stan the wit
Where have all the men gone? Far far away to Mars where there are no soaps or shops. The 'people' left on Earth are all living in a virtual soap world ruled by female machines The only place where the Martians meet the Earthlings is on APOSCARFOVIMA where endless plans are hatched for a Gopalpur get-together

Venu N said...

Stan,
You forgot to mention that the SX4 sedan from Maruti stable sees a huge resurgence in sales in 2050 A.D.---women go gaga over it because they think 'The Men are back'!

Tasneem said...

Hanste jao, Hanste jao.
We'll smoke you guys out. Just you wait n watch!!
Nice piece Stan.