Of Mycocepurus Smithii, Stanely’s nightmare, Nargis’s dream & Naresh's Jambalakadi Pamba!!

So finally women learned what the ants in South America knew all along- the art of re-producing a-sexually by cloning and doing away with the male species!!

At first there was this great feeling of déjà vu. No dowry. No molestations. No rapes. No fears. No repression. No superior species. No inferior species. All were equal. There was also a great feeling of responsibility as society had to be virtually re-constructed.

Phonetics was corrected first. The champagne bottles were given a stern warning. No longer should they open with a pop sound. It was replaced by a mom sound.

Dictionary was revised next. Everything in masculine gender ranging from Bull shit to men-o-pause was removed.

Cities were renamed ( reclaimed? )to make it sound feminine. Mumbai (because it reminded them of Bhais) became Mumbehen, Bhubaneshwar was re-named Bhubaneshwari and Delhi (because it was ending with a he) became Delshe.

Festivals came next. Rakhi was banned as was Karva Chauth. Bhai dhooj was replaced with behen dhooj and fathers’ day was renamed as cloning day. Santa Claus morphed into Shanti Mausi and instead of shouting HO HO HO went giggle, giggle giggle.

Surprise, surprise even Germaine Greer was banished. After all what was her relevance in a world sans males?

But slowly problems arose. The young ones complained that they no longer wished to dress up or go to beauty parlours. Haatoon ki mehendi, othoon ki lali, julfon ko sawarna, aanchal ka leherana all ceased to have a connotation. What’s the relevance they wondered?

The ladies too had their problems. Who would open the door for them? Who would now say, ‘ladies first’. So what if the word chivalry was removed from the dictionary its need was not and could not be removed.

The middle aged missed their favourite TV serials as saas was never a bahu. The film wallis tried their best by making films like Jab We Cloned (instead of Jab We Met) but somehow the zip was missing.

The elderly mausis and nanis were running out of gossip material. Now they could not say, ‘is ladki key lakshan aur chaal chalan theek naheen hain.” They could not even say, “is ladki key haath peeley kar key isko jaldi bidaa karo’.

The worst plight was that of the shopaholics. Who would now pay their bills?

In APOSCAFROMVIMAL boys were having all the fun. They played cricket in Union Club. surfed and swam in Gopalpur. Laughed endlessly at dirty jokes. The handsome too, like narcissus, just gazed at themselves endlessly. Peace was all pervasive.

Paradise was finally here. The school prayer at SVC was finally answered, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, in earth as in heaven".

Amen