Sunday 17 May 2009
Lights, Camera.... ACTION
Immediately after roti, kapda and even before makan there is Bollywood in our lives. The influence that Hindi films have had on our lives is probably dis-proportionate to its overall technical excellence. However when it comes to dialogue-baazi I doubt if it can have competition from any corner of the world. Sample this:
When the son tries to act smart and learns a bit of biology in the bargain:
Beta, main teri maa hoon. Nau maheene maine tujhe is kokh mein pala hai
What did the fifties ki Mom tell her hubby when she was sure about her daughters’ affair?
Suniye jee,………… ab mera shak yakeen mein badal gaya hai
When mother and audience both believe in re-birth:
Mere Karan-Arjun jaroor ayenge
And when a son paid the greatest tribute to motherhood:
Mere paas meri maa hey
Now this guy has to be a born loser or a man with a golden heart:
Kyaa????????...... Tumney mujhe bhai kaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The ultimate middle class tourism fantasy of the parents of sixties:
Bus beti ki shaadi ho jaye, phir hum teerth yatra mein nikal jaenge
The classic hook line of the sixties that spilled over to the seventies as well:
Mein tumhare bache ki maa ban ney waali hoon.
In the sixties what was the best way to get rid of guilt feelings about falling in love?
Pyar kiya naheen jata, ho jata hai.
What does an over-anxious, agonized, anguished, distressed, tortured, tormented, middle-class rustic father of an eighteen year old girl tell his wife in the middle of the night?
Jis ghar mein jawan beti shaadi key layak ho, uske baap ko bhala neend kaisi.
Best way to remember your relatives? Just try molesting a woman:
Kameeney teri maa behen naheen hai kya?
Sure shot way of getting a namaskar. Try rape:
Bhagwan key liye mujhe barbad mat karo Mein tumhare haath jodtee hoon.
When even the ‘bad’ guys had a good soul:
Heads- aspatal chalte hain, tails- bhaag chalte hain.
When two is greater than three:
Ummm…Kitney aadmi thay?
As a kid I laughed at this. Now I feel it is a Rajesh Khanna classic:
Pushpa………I hate tears
When in 7th standard, I realized the transient nature of life (in Utkal Talkies)
Babu moshai, zindagi aur maut upar waale key haath mein hey….
When the seductive courtesan meets the tall-dark-handsome match:
Munni bai key kothe mein log chot khaa key aate hain ya phir chot khaa key jaten hain. Yeh pehela shaks hey jo chot dey ke jaa raha hai.
How does one drop a hint to a garrulous, over talkative, non-stop silly bantering- chattering rustic taangewalli obsessed with the “ I- Me- and- Myself- syndrome”:
Tumhara naam kya hey Basanti?
The crowd felt this too was a classic:
Mard ko dard naheen hota
When Amitabh did a double-deal with the underworld don at an unlikely venue :
Sunaa hai lift key dewaron key kaan naheen hotey
The legendary Devdas on the virtues of alcohol:
Kaun kambakht bardasht karnay ko peeta hai,
hum to peete hain ki…..
behosh ho sakain,
Paroo ko bhula sakain….
When the tragic Devdas gets hounded even by his own mother:
Babuji ne kahaa gaon chhod do,
gaon walon ney kahaa Paro chhod do,
Paro ney kahaa sharaab chhod do,
aaj tumne kah dia, haweli chhod do,
ek din aayega jab wo kahenge,-duniya hi chhod do
When sublime love mustered courage and fought the imperial power of Zille Elahi!!
Anarkali, Salim tujhe marne naheen dega aur hum tumhe jeney naheen denge
When Akbar tries to force Anarkali not only to desert Salim but also convince him that she never was in love:
Anarkali: Jo zabaan unke saamne muhabbat ka iqraar tak na kar saki ho, woh inkaar kaisay karegee?
When the mother tries to dissuade her son:
Jodha Bai: Humara Hindustan koi tumhara dil nahin ek laundi jis pay hukumat kare.
Salim: "Toh mere dil bhi aapka Hindusthan nahin hai, jo aap uspar hukumat kare.
Jai Ho.
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20 comments:
Fantastic. Only this line should be corrected to read as "Bhagwan key liye mujhe barbad mat karo Mein tumhare AAGE haath jodtee hoon."
Wow what minute observation!! Mein bhi aapke aagey haath jodta hoon.
My fav line is, when someone asks:
Kya Hua
character actor replies:
Yeh puchho ki kya nahin hua
Arun --Great lines from Hindi films,
phir woh bhuli si yaad ayee hai
And how about that rustic/rascal/rogue who used to say, "Aree kar bhalaa toe ho bhalaa" in every film of his. Was he kanahiya lal?
Arun
what a great stroll down filmi memory lane, only I don't remember half these lines. I marvel at your memory, "Too much Man".
Tas, salute your memory too, I read every single one too but did not know enough to correct, that is how bad my movie knowledge is, hehehehe!!
How can we forget Mar diya jaye ya chod diya jaye?
There is another version of the rape scene which goes--
Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chod do!
Ha, itne achee maal bhagwan ke liye kyun chod doon?
Bhuli bisri yadein!!
Thanks Arun
Seetha,
You know what I am surprised you actually had the patience to go thru it. After being in US for almost 30 years I am sure you would have lost touch with this kind of filmi-shilmi stuff. Thanks.
Enarkay,
There are many such wonderful one liners and situations which make us feel nostalgic.
A decade or so ago I was in Indonesia with a SAIL pavilion. They are all huge fans of Hindi films and TV serials which are all sub-titled in Bhasha Indonesia.Our interpreter once asked me with all seriousness, "Do some Indians drink the blood of dogs." That's when I realised the impact that Dharm paaji's dialogues were having in that far away land!!
Arun key jaisa likna Mushkil hi nahin, Namumkin hain!
Great Job!
Hindi movies, part & parcel of "our" lives.
Your reply to Seetha reminded me, however. Having been a lover of western movies (not Western necessarily) and the retraint in acting, the audacity and self-aggrandization of Hindi dialogues/lyrics borders on the ridiculous. Here goes -
1. "Hum woh balay hain jo sishay se patthar to kaat-te hain". Oh, puh-lease!
2. "Mainay tujhko chahaa yeh hai meri meherbani". Give the girl a break.
3. "Mein jab bhi tujhe maroonga, tujhe paani tak naseeb nahin hoga" sez the villain. Hero retorts "Aur mein jab tujhe maroonga, paani pilaa pilaa ke maroonga". Get on with it already!
Pile on folks!
Good News conveyed in Bollywood often times isn't!
'Mubarak Ho!! Aap ki Beti Maa Baney waali Hain!'
Arun
You can equally become a film 'critic ' which would fetch a whopping ' bouquets or brick bats'!
I S Johar during his living days had a similar wit !
Arun
To rewind the reel a bit, in 1996 I had done a small role as a Side Hero in a film called 'BHUL KAHARO ' at Kalinga studios, Bhubaneshwar.
The first and last of its kind in 'OLLYWOOD'
A dowry related issue ! Why it reminds me was to shoot a 45 minutes sequence it took the whole unit morn 9.00 am to 12.00 am in the night.
And the whole day it was LIGHTS... CAMERA...MONITOR... ACTION and after a successful take CUT.
Its a different story how the Director Raghu Mishra shortlisted me for the film, promised to pay 5000.00 bucks which never happened and finally the film never saw the light of the day due to bickerings between the Producer and Director on distribution rights ! Phew !!
FAB
ab gyara mulkon ke police mujhe dhoonday gee!!
Omkar
At times it not just borders on the ridiculous but actually goes beyond ridiculous. how about, "mein woh pahad hoon jis say toofan bhi takra key palat jata hai." The more hyperbolic it gets the more the crowd enjoys. The real trick is in creating what literary critics call as 'Willing suspension of disbelief"- a phrase first used for Tennyson's Ancient Mariner but should actually be patented now by the Indian audience that sees and passionately loves Hindi films.
corrigendum:
Ancient Mariner is by Samuel Coleridge.
Ah, 2 from the same class in front of the movie camera. Woo-hoo!
Uma Rani Bose in "Chilika Teeray" - lovely songs in that movie.
Aur Naresh Sahib. Say, had the movie not been canned, and Naresh would have become a megastar, Oriya->Telugu->Hindi, what would have been his screen name? ;-) Blog material, eh?
Naresh,
It was great talking to you yesterday.
So you almost became a star. But then Bhul Kaharo which was subsequently canned could not have been more appropriately titled.
Now, now Hilu and Arun, the Title would have been " FLOP STAR ". An unintended detour it was !
Well never knew Ranu acted in Chilika teerey !
Naresh, acting?? Kya baat hai! Bollywood try karna tha yaar... Then i would say "Woh Naresh hai na, han han wahi hero, woh mera doost hai". And Naresh would say, pata nahi kahan kahan se log aajate hai aur mujhe apna dost kahete hai!
Arun: Maan gaye yaar... kya likhte ho! Too good!! Jai ho!!!
Vims, how I hope I had written those immortal lines!!
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